Reading of the love we had. stuck in the past I am and no matter how hard I try every day is a reminder of what I had. What I could have had.
The happiness. The love. The warmth and security.
All of it and more. All gone. All of it.
Within such a short time frame, that felt like forever, we came and went.
Something that both of us felt could never, would never, should never end, Ended.
Sitting here, I read. I cry. I wonder why. Then I remember.
It was me. I wanted it to stop. But did I. No, not really. So we tried, and tried, and tried. But no matter how many times it just wouldn’t/won’t work.
Were broken. Utterly and completely broken. To a point where we are crushed into a fine powder. …..At least I am.
All we are is just dust in the wind.
Doing what were doing just feels like a big show. A lie. Great pretenders we are. You are. I can’t. I was never good at acting.
You said once I changed you, for the better you said. Is this the woman you claim I helped you become.. If so. I’m so terribly sorry I messed you up. I didn’t mean to.
Never wanted to be in a mother role.
All I wanted was to love and be loved. And now It’s winter The season I detest the most Without my heater I’ll surely die. … .
I wanted what I lost. What I threw to a side for later thinking there was something more. What I want now I can’t have back. Not now, not ever. Why? Because it will never be the same. What I want is gone. Only the memories linger, on paper, cards, my mind…
I just can’t pretend. I’m not like you. I notice/d too much to shut off, to start anew.
I can’t get use to the new you. I thought I was. For a few days I really thought I was. But then I opened my ears followed by my eyes and died just a little bit to see and hear what I was conforming to. it breaks me.
Kills me to know I lost you a long time ago but it kills me more that I’m so weak. So weakened by my thoughts and emotions that I can’t let go even if I can’t stand you.
Good bye us from the past. Good bye you who all I had to do was just take a glance and know you were the one. Good bye mi taquito.
Mi Amor… —-happy—- belated anniversary
Let the weakness some day (soon) turn into strength.
(if u ever see this click the pic to see a glimps of what I mean by memories-that’s all I have in my head. And as much as you want to start new, I just can’t)